In Memoriam

I remember before the words came
when the world still lay gray
and my heart pulled, pooled full at the edges
and I didn’t yet know how to spill it.

I remember when the first phrase played
across my young tongue
and the words stayed there, warm
with sun and sea and salt.

I remember the feeling of
finally, this is me, this is who
I am and all I want to be, and the freedom
of casting myself to the breeze.

I remember the first time
they betrayed me and
the last time they just wouldn’t come, and all
the small lonely deaths in between.

.

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15 Responses to In Memoriam

  1. whimsygizmo says:

    Whew. This is the last poem for NaPoWriMo, #30. I’ve enjoyed their prompts, and the extra inspiration they have brought.

    http://www.napowrimo.net/2012/04/day-30/

    • This was great. Loved the middle stanzas. “The small lonely deaths in between” for me, mostly self-inflicted near-suicides. (Next NaPoWriMo I’m trying their prompts. PA feels less connected this year, the prompts less inspired. ) Thanksforallyourgreatwritingloveyoumosk.

      • whimsygizmo says:

        I did both this year, Mosk, and it was a pretty good balance. Not sure about next year, for me, yet. Honestly, I think a lot depends on the success of submitting my 5 at PA this year. My confidence (okay, maybe ego?) takes a big blow every April or November I don’t make a list. Silly, I know, but for me it answers the “why haven’t you done a book yet?” question: “Because I either don’t know how to select the right poems for submission, or none of them are as good as my hopeful heart thinks they might be.”

  2. Vince Gotera says:

    Hi, De and Mosk. De, this is beautiful. I love the “sun and sea and salt” and also the “small lonely deaths.” So well said.

    About submissions, don’t worry so much. There’s NO way you can select the right poems because every editor is different. Believe me, I know this game from both sides. Just send them all out … even the ones that you don’t think are that good. You’ll be surprised that some editor will love those very ones. Sorry if I’m completely off track here. –V.

    • whimsygizmo says:

      Thanks, Vince. That’s actually my new philosophy. ;)
      Except for Robert’s PAD Challenge. Will be sweating bullets over which “best 5″ to send to that. It’s a tradition. ;)

      • Vince Gotera says:

        It’s a tradition that you “sweat bullets”? :-)

        Hope you make the list this year. I sent Robert 5 poems too but told him not to put me on the list. These were just 5 poems I wanted him to read because they addressed him or whatever. And if I would have made the list, I said I would appreciate knowing that. But no list for me.

  3. Oh, De!!! This:

    “I remember when the first phrase played
    across my young tongue
    and the words stayed there, warm
    with sun and sea and salt.”

    and ALL!! So perfectly, perfectly dead on!!! This is SO how it feels…so amazing that you’ve captured it in words! You astound me!

    Eaves dropping above, De…I know what you mean and I agree that it does hurt even though you don’t think it will/want it to. I hope you’ll keep at it no matter what though. You’re in-scripted “a star,” in my heart!!!

    I t is late here so I won’t try to indulge in the rest of your beautiful work tonight but I wanted to get in one last PAD comment for old times sake!! Warm everything to you, De it has been fun and I look forward to more!

    • whimsygizmo says:

      Thank you so much, Hannah. I’m exhausted, so your amazing day’s work will have to wait until tomorrow. What a pleasure it will be to catch up with your beautiful words. :)

  4. Misky says:

    That is a deeply revealing piece, De, and I love it. :)

    As for submissions, I haven’t submitted napowrimo poems to PA since the first year that I participated (21/2-yrs ago come November). I stopped bothering because everyone else’s work was so much better than mine. This year, however, I’m going to submit … not because I think my work has improved or has a shot at being mentioned, but because I bought new body armour and I want to try it out. :D

  5. SaraV says:

    De that was exquisite! :-)

  6. Lindy Lee says:

    Go for it & keep after it…

  7. K. McGee says:

    The first stanza really sets the mood for this poem! Wonderful work!

    And I echo everyone else. Submit! Submit! I won’t be submitting this year, as it is my first year and I followed along more to find out what it was all about. But next year it’s on!

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