Art credit here.
Coral straw
…………………………….and cold blossoms;
tree roots dying
…………………….crumbled white
as teeth,
…………………………fallen leaf
litters
……………….a quiet street
black shoelaces scuffling
………….m…asphalt Morse code
gilled storm grates
………………………………………..breathe
unpalatable steam,
……………………….veiled dreams floating
coating my throat in
…………………………………………………slick
…………………………………………humid
……………………………………………………silent
……………………………….scream.
…
Written for Shawna’s words.
Loved the wording in this poem. I can FEEL the surreal quality, the terror, of this bad dream. And I can hear that “slick humid silent scream.”
Too scary!
Oh wow, you REALLY like that image. It’s HUGE!
“crumbled white
as teeth” … I love this variation on “white as snow.” But it does make me think of really bad tooth decay.
“fallen leaf
litters” … Oh, I like that you turned “litter” into a verb.
“asphalt Morse code” … This is super cool.
I love that the grates are breathing. Also, this is a command for the reader to breathe. And also, everyone (including the grates) is breathing unpalatable steam. This is never good. But it is very good to breathe floating dreams. But not good to coat your throat in silent scream. Just scream for real and get it over with.
I think this is really a very happy and relaxing picture. She may look like her head is down in sadness, but really I think she’s swimming in her clothes and washing her beautiful hair.
I love the way you slowed things down at the end:
“slick
humid
silent
scream”
What a pleasant surprise to see this poem.
Glad to see you catching up. Lovely work, my dear.
Oh, P.S. … I LOVE “coral straw and cold blossoms.” It sounds like it’s going to be such a beautiful, magical poem. And then things turn … kind of like dreams.
No, of course not. Have you met me?
That’s how big the original was, over at your source. I just click and borrow.
Do you know how to resize them … like if you wanted to?
Oh, wait. Yes I do. Here in WordPress.
wow, well done – loved asphalt morse code!
must remember to get here before Shawna i I am to comment – she pretty much covered it all.
very good, def love the end
I’m cracking up over this.
I’ll try to take longer next time. LOL.
I’m here looking for this morning’s poem. And just so you know, I’m going to leave the shortest comment ever to be sweet to Mark.
Camping yesterday, unplugged. Poem soon today.
Oh, yes…the last of the words you offer are so the epitome of a bad dream…
“.veiled dreams floating
coating my throat in
…………………………………………………slick
…………………………………………humid
……………………………………………………silent
……………………………….scream.”
mmhmm love the floating and coating!!
So many fantastic phrases!! Love the “gilled storm grates breathe” what an image!! And so creative.. like usual my talented friend
Stunning images and photo.