Scribbling Stones – Day 16

Posted on January 16, 2013 by

…

…
bruised pear
sitting there
are you still sweet?
I think yes,
under all that broken
skin, you are
whole within.
 

…

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3 Responses to Scribbling Stones – Day 16

  1. Hannah Gosselin says:
    January 16, 2013 at 9:00 pm

    Perfect pear flavored pebble to ponder, De! Thank you… apologies for the over-alliteration in my comment! Ha ha! :)

    Reply
  2. jasmine calyx says:
    January 16, 2013 at 9:17 pm

    This tiny poem makes me very happy. This is my favorite:

    “bruised pear
    sitting there
    are you still sweet?
    I think yes,
    under all that broken
    skin, you are”

    But with the last line, I would make a little change, for the rhythm and rhyme:

    “under all that broken
    skin, you are still
    within
    a perfect whole”

    Or precious whole, tender whole. Whatever. It just felt like the rhythm was off right at the end. But all but the last line felt so very right. ;)

    Reply
  3. Susan says:
    January 16, 2013 at 11:31 pm

    A pear, a being. Nicely done!

    Reply

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