The Trick of Losing What You Did Not Have

It tastes like sulfur
copper penny blood spilled
but unspent
like the ragged hole
where a tooth used to be,
like impotent sweat
streaming down exhausted brow
mouth filled with salt
and cotton regret
at having ever wanted this.

It rings in the ears
like wasted years and
startled, sizzled out
wishes burned by
too much sun,
things wanted pushed
back into dark closets, hidden
atriums, dusty corners
where they cannot
scream for their own loss.

It stings like wisdom
found too late,
the places in the heart
that ache
for more, this whispered
no that shatters soul
and scatters all she is
to the four winds, unwound
and waiting to be
whole again.

 

 

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