Things decay,
he says
as if this ashen
thing between them
is a dilapidated
bank building or a
tumbleweed ghost town.
She doesn’t buy it.
Isn’t ready to let go
of these crumbling pillars,
worn saloon doors still
swaying in too much wind.
She picks up great fistfuls
of the earth and dust that
blow in, and rubs them
into her shallow skin
making mudpies
of her own tears.
.
Written for Trifecta.
Whimsygizmo's Blog 
De, has anyone nominated you for a Versatile Blogger award yet? Aside from me, of course … check it out at Rhymes With Tao: http://rhymeswithtao.blogspot.com/2012/05/revolution-of-blog.html#.T8UtcrRYu0w
Thank you so much, Lynn. I’m honored. I did receive one, awhile back, and the “Liebster” made its way over here half a dozen times recently, also. I’m so thankful to be recognized, and appreciate it greatly…I shall try to carve out the time in the next week or so to follow the rules and pay it forward.
THANK YOU. 🙂
Ms. de – I love that your poem and my latest both have the word rubble in it. Love the lost feeling and the attempt to make something out of the remains. You’re a gem, my friend!
What a visual–mudpies of her own tears–love it!
Really, really lovely. The “ashen thing between them” particularly caught me.
That was my favourite line, too.
I love your opening: “Things decay, he says as if this ashen thing between them is … dilapidated.” And this: “She picks up great fistfuls of the earth and dust … and rubs them into her shallow skin.”
“Making mudpies of her own tears” — this image will stay with me for a while. This strikes me as a picture of very deep sadness.
Thank you all, so much.
oh, so beautiful – lovely imagery here.
Quite powerful. And vivid.
Leaves me sad at the decay of the relationship. Loved “making mudpies of her own tears”. Sometimes I feel I could do that.
all good as usual, excellent extended metaphor
This is such a beautiful poem. I love the imagery here. Wow.
The end so sad, but so true of what one person is often left doing — to make the tears mean something, be something (the mudpies).
I was also struck by the descriptor, ashen thing between us. It so perfectly encapsulates that hollow, bloated thing that’s left when the life has gone out of a relationship.
Lovely job.
I look forward to your poetry. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Thank you all so much. 🙂
I’m telling you, girl, the thing I love about coming here is that I know I will read words and phrases that would see no place else. The last few lines of this poem are like that. Congratulations on your 2nd place.
Thanks so much, coal. Your generous words mean a lot to me. I’m enjoying writing for Trifecta. 🙂
What in the world!!! You’re a pro, like for serious!!! This is astounding, De!! I love the imagery you create and the multi-sensory details that you gather in are such a gift! Thank you for what you do, my friend!
Oh. I just read above, Shay’s comment…Congratulations indeed, De!! You dserve that and SO much more!!
Plus while I’m here:
“She picks up great fistfuls
of the earth and dust that
blow in, and rubs them
into her shallow skin”
LOVE that!!
Hannah, it makes me smile that we usually get caught up with each other’s words on the same day, and our comments are filled with exclamation points and rush of gushing praise. Such a mutual admiration society we have going here, and I love it. I have to save all your new poems up so I can pour over them properly…and when I do, it’s like a poetic Mack Truck of talent, plowing me over. My eyes and my tongue and my ears just want to swallow it all, whole. 😉
I’m so thrilled by what we share and I look up to you!! You’re always amazing me with your poetic genius!! Always astounding me with your fresh spinning of phrases!! I love this comment…so true a whirlwind of exclamation points and praise!! BIG honored smiles from me!!! 🙂
Verrrry nice and congrats! So well-deserved …