She is nibbled to the rind
scooped out flesh
and scattered remnants of
months, years, time
eternity shed and shredded
into ignorant ribboned pulp.
She is quiet, constant sting
silent songs of mundane things
housewives
holding dust cloths
…………..death
…………..collective breath
for something more
drawers emptied onto angry floors
mothballs rolling to dusty forgotten
corners, stink of old bone in new
closet.
She is acid churn and
angry spurn and slow raw burn
of subtracting self in clock clicks
falling trickles of dishwater
and lunch milk dimes
love poured out in pancake batter
and mopspill and
sweat and salt
-watered
nursery rhymes.
.
Written for The Sunday Whirl Wordle.
I always enjoy your play with internal rhyme. You could give lessons! The first stanza has me imagining her as a cantaloupe. I had to try and block that when I got to sorrowful and angry.
Heehee. The visual of a discarded melon did come into play…too much, perhaps? Hmmm…
The language sparkles – the internal rhymes, especially in the last stanza. I like the progression of this, how each stanza stands on its own, building new images and ideas than the last. I really like “love poured out in pancake batter”.
Richard
Nursery rhymes are crazy, scary things when you think about it. I’d hardly call them watered (down). But yes, salt-watered … that works. 🙂 This is excellent, by the way. So much great sound. And your title is sure a nice setup. I doubt there’s a housewife anywhere who can’t identify with this.
My favorites:
“nibbled to the rind”
“ignorant ribboned pulp”
“She is quiet, constant sting
silent songs of mundane things”
“slow raw burn
of subtracting self in clock clicks
falling trickles of dishwater
and lunch milk dimes
love poured out in pancake batter”
Poor old June; my mother’s version of perfection. She wasn’t a “melon-head” though. 🙂
Poor June Cleaver….I did enjoy your poem, the internal rhyme, etc.; but now you have me wondering whatever happened to BEAVER Cleaver.
Oh — well done, De! Smooth and lyrical in flow, but I SO feel for her. It’s a lump in your throat kind of poem. Nice work, lady!
“drawers emptied onto angry floors”??? not at June Cleaver’s house, no way! I’m from June’s era. There is now way we would have done such a thing! lol
Hi De, this is interesting. When I was younger, one of my favorite television sitcoms was MASH. I suppose Hawkeye met the same fate as June.
Full of life, your words play with sound on the page. Love this piece.
Liked the poem…but I can’t imagine a discontent June Cleaver doing such things. I think she really DID pour love out in pancake batter. And that was OK for her.
You used each of the wordle words so well — but I especially liked the line with “subtracting” in it. Well done!
Thanks, Paula. 🙂 Yes, I truly do believe there have been, and still are, many women who find true contentment and joy in it. The title was meant to be a little bit tongue in cheek, with the emotions and tirade within being very real for some “other” women. 😉
Like those who want to be poets?
Yup. 😉 Hey, you’re YOU today.
The last stanza is a sing-song stinger! Wow – well done!
“holding dust cloths
…………..death
…………..collective breath
for something more
drawers emptied onto angry floors
mothballs rolling to dusty forgotten
corners, stink of old bone in new
closet.”
Love the raw emotive power in this portion and then your end switches to soft with love poured batter and all!!
Always a feast to find your words, De!! Big smiles!!
Spectacular writing! A few of my favorite lines: “angry floors” and “salt-watered nursery rhymes.”
Your use of rhyme was wonderful. The whole poem sings. Excellent work.
LOVE this…esp the last stanza!
Hey, have missed DEm toes and your worDEd wonDEr. You remain a most sought, first read no matter which sight I peruse! This bit of whimsy incluDEd!
De, the internal rhymes are splendid here, not an easy thing to write. I really enjoyed this from title to end.
Pamela
I too love the pancake line. Also I can imagine well the woman that I imagine as fairly new empty nester told by her husband that he’s out the door for a younger model. Just because I know someone who that happened to fairly recently. Big ouch. I remember Leave It To Beaver…but forgot Mom’s name. I think your ‘tongue and cheek’ is also somewhat of an honorarium. Kudos.
I’m here:
http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2012/07/sw-64-wordle-diamond-in-rough.html
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Too emotionally draining!!! In a good way. Brilliantly done De.
Love this – just read it to my sister. Words she needed to hear. You are brilliant, I love your work.
So glad it could be shared, Jeannine. Thank you for your kind words.
Excellent!
`love poured out in pancake batter’ Love that line. Also, very cool title.
Did we ever really have mothers like that?
“Love poured out in pancake batter” hits me right where I live, wonderful!
Yes, it was inevitable. wasn’t it? “Subtracting self in clock ticks” — loved this!