Can’t Drive (Dance of the Dissonant Daughter)

….

so she’s gonna walk,
try and talk her
self into some brighter form
of sway.

give her a day,
an hour, some high
-er power or plan, a man
who might miss her
if she didn’t stay.

give her time
to grieve,
something to be
-lieve. (s)wish her
upon the stars, to
ward some quiet

(s)laughter.

 


55 words for Toads.

 

 

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14 Responses to Can’t Drive (Dance of the Dissonant Daughter)

  1. The closing word with it’s two variations to read gave me the chills.. brilliant.

  2. Shawna says:

    “try and talk her” … Such a great aspiration. To try and talk with her real voice. Talk her.
    Love the second stanza. Obviously what you did with essing “laughter.” The imagery I see of her walking slowly away, swishing her tail … so “long” it can reach the stars. Definitely sad, but hopeful.

  3. ZQ says:

    Interesting style… I Liked it… I think it worked!

  4. Yes, that ending with variations of the words is chilling….such a unique piece

  5. Grace says:

    Very creative word breaks and that (s) at the end hints at the chilling ending ~

  6. Well, now, I hope this was all in her head. And that it clears up with time! And enough walking!

  7. Helen says:

    Awesome!

  8. Kerry O'Connor says:

    Oooh! Love the (s)laughter. I’ve never noticed that word within a word before.

  9. Mama Zen says:

    This is outstanding. Truly, I love this.

  10. margaret says:

    Clever all the way through!

  11. grapeling says:

    damn if that final line isn’t brilliant ~

  12. C.C. says:

    You had me at “Dance of the Dissonant Daughter” but then the rest of it was just so brilliant…I love the word variations and the breaks between lines and the ending is STELLAR!!!

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