The Herculean Rap

(Lyrical Labours of Love, Dread and Bloodshed)

…

Strangle the lion
’til it’s dead.
Kill the Hydra
(all nine heads).
Trap the deer
and capture the pig
(you’re almost halfway there,
now dance a jig.)

Clean all the crap
from the Augean stables.
Oh, did we mention: in one day?
(Perhaps reroute a river, if you’re able.)

Now, slay those crazy Stymphalian Birds
(watch out for their bronze beaks of war.)
Tired? Tough. You ain’t done yet.
That was six; there are still four more.

Bully the bull
and steal the mares.
Go for the girdle,
if you dare.
Grab the cattle
from the monster Geryon.
Hey! That’s 10! Whew!
Aren’t your labours done?

Oops, nope. Numbers 2 and 5 won’t do.
(You can’t have help; you can’t get paid.)
Before your laborious time is through,
just add two more and you’ll have it made:

Steal the apples of Hesperides
(Watch Atlas shrug, perhaps he’ll help.)
Capture Cerberus, the hounds of hell.
(This time the brain count is only three.)

There now, see? Was that so hard?
Dude, today you’re earnin’ that Man Card.

But –
No time for rest. No time for peace.
Get back out there and find that Golden Fleece.

 

…
Prompted by Margo’s poem tryouts.

 

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