Sevenling (Shoulders Cold from Summer Snow)

inspired by Gugu Buthelezi

I hate only lonely
things: white abandoned
blossoms, skeleton trees, footprints fading.

We shrug our heavy
names, unquiet bones
these stinging stars.

Care less for our own skin.

..

 

 

 

Prompted by Kerry over at Toads. My title is a line from the beautiful poem Sevenling (I Hate Only 3 Things) by a talented young poet named Gugu Buthelezi. Be sure to click over and read the whole poem, and peruse a ton of the incredible work Kerry has brought together at somewhere i have never travelled, honoring these gifted students with a place to share their words.

 

 

 

 

 

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17 Responses to Sevenling (Shoulders Cold from Summer Snow)

  1. Wonderful, the first stanza, with the lonely whiteness.. the second with those stinging stars, and then to wrap it up the skin. (or is it sin)

  2. coalblack says:

    Stinging stars! Very cool, and I, too, really liked the poem that you took for your inspiration.

  3. Violet says:

    Boy howdy, that first stanza is gorgeous. And that title, my word! And “stinging stars.”

    The first line sets the scene for me, based on a movie called Only the Lonely, which is about a chick who works at a funeral home. 🙂

    • whimsygizmo says:

      I loved that movie!

      The title is a line from the original poet. You need to visit the site and do some of your fabulous insightful, inspiring, life-giving commenting, when you get some time. Seriously. There’s some gooooood talent over there.

  4. Glenn Buttkus says:

    You had me at /we shrug our heavy names/. something I have done several times in my life.

  5. hedgewitch says:

    Such a fine sevenling–and they are far from easy to write, so easy to sound generic. Not here, and not in the poem that inspired you either. I especially like ‘abandoned blossoms.’ What could be lonelier?

  6. Kerry O'Connor says:

    I love the listing effect of the sevenling – they always sound quite wistful to me, a touch melancholy. I really like the contrast between the I and the We… the state of loneliness is something we all can relate to. Thank you for participating in this challenge.

  7. Rommy says:

    Ooh – while the protagonist “hates lonely things” you really set up this feeling of loneliness around him/her that gently speaks of the self loathing they will not voice aloud. Nice!

  8. I love the list of lonely things and “We shrug our heavy names” is so good, so good.

  9. I, too, like the heavy names, as well as unquiet bones. As well as the poem that inspired this. “footprints fading” is very good as well.

  10. ManicDdaily says:

    This is just terrific, winsome, poignant, understated–your examples of lonely things are beautifully chosen and the return to self is lovely too. k.

  11. Excellent use of the form, de!! Love the pairing of only lonely. 🙂

  12. margaret says:

    dripping with talent – this list poem is lonely and lovely!

  13. kaykuala h says:

    white abandoned blossoms
    skeleton trees, footprints fading

    Perfect picture of the declining greenery and the golden Autumn leaves. It is compounded with the blistering cold and snow covering up signs of human presence!

    Hank

  14. Sherry Marr says:

    This is a wonderful response – the stinging stars, heavy names, unquiet bones. Wowzers!

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