Under ebony blanket, we’ve found
……the only sound
is the song of slanted bliss.
right, and rights the rhythm of our chests.
……Our own breath
is stolen by sky’s black dress.
Our lungs can get their fill,
we’ll swallow stars until
………the only sound left is our own breath.
Another one for the d’Verse Ovillejo prompt. Come play!
Oh I love what you did with the last line… a sound of silence.
Oh this is soo dreamy! Love it 😀
I love the rhythm and song of slanted bliss ~
This is beautifully done De ~ I think the trick is the last line 🙂
We do need a bit more silence in our world!
Oh, now you’re just showing off ; ) Kudos
Aw, thanks, Debi. To be fair, this is probably my 20 or 30-somethingth Ovillejo. I first learned the form in 2011, and I remember to play with it every couple of months. There are so many who write haiku, haibun, sestinas and other forms so effortlessly, and I’m always in such awe. I do love the shorter, less restrictive forms. 🙂
Sexy and Fantastic — ah yes, and romantic — nicely done
I didn’t hear silence at all
I heard passionate deep breaths
Oooo ….. leaves me breathless.
You do have an ease and elegance with this form – it really suits you. I also like the image of swallowing stars until the only sound left is breathing…
Ethereal, mystical, beautiful. ‘Nuff said!
I did not see that ending line coming, even though it was right there in lines 2, 4, and 6. Very nicely penned. Peace, Linda
This is so sensual! Gorgeous work, De.
You have introduced me to a great form…it must be very interesting to balance the challenge of rhythms and then using it to make your piece sound a lot nicer. I love this. Not sure if I can join though.
I hope you do try, Abhra. It took me quite a few tries when I first learned the form, and now I love it. The rhythm and flow will come, with practice and time. 🙂
There is something sexy about that breath. This form does seem to suit you, De. You make it seem so effortless and your words just flow into perfection. So nice.
soft, subtle and passionate….simply brilliant…
De, how did I not know you were part of d’team? Suits you to a ‘D’. I hate rhyming on purpose, but may try this form. No guarantees I’ll like what comes out of it, but puzzles are fun.
Tis a new development. I did a guest blogger post for them in the late fall, and then Bjorn asked me. 🙂 Having a blast. I loved your Ovi!
my first Ovi inspired by you:)
Breath of Nature.. Breath of Life
breathes the same..
flesh here and
theRe changes so much