Crocheting the World a Sweater of Silence

Under ebony blanket, we’ve found
……the only sound
is the song of slanted bliss.
……Left is
right, and rights the rhythm of our chests.
……Our own breath
is stolen by sky’s black dress.
Our lungs can get their fill,
we’ll swallow stars until
………the only sound left is our own breath.

 

 

..
Another one for the d’Verse Ovillejo prompt. Come play! 

 

 

 

 

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21 Responses to Crocheting the World a Sweater of Silence

  1. Oh I love what you did with the last line… a sound of silence.

  2. Sanaa Rizvi says:

    Oh this is soo dreamy! Love it 😀

  3. Grace says:

    I love the rhythm and song of slanted bliss ~

    This is beautifully done De ~ I think the trick is the last line 🙂

  4. Mary says:

    We do need a bit more silence in our world!

  5. Oh, now you’re just showing off ; ) Kudos

    • whimsygizmo says:

      Aw, thanks, Debi. To be fair, this is probably my 20 or 30-somethingth Ovillejo. I first learned the form in 2011, and I remember to play with it every couple of months. There are so many who write haiku, haibun, sestinas and other forms so effortlessly, and I’m always in such awe. I do love the shorter, less restrictive forms. 🙂

  6. Sabio Lantz says:

    Sexy and Fantastic — ah yes, and romantic — nicely done
    I didn’t hear silence at all
    I heard passionate deep breaths

  7. Candy says:

    Oooo ….. leaves me breathless.

  8. MarinaSofia says:

    You do have an ease and elegance with this form – it really suits you. I also like the image of swallowing stars until the only sound left is breathing…

  9. lillian says:

    Ethereal, mystical, beautiful. ‘Nuff said!

  10. I did not see that ending line coming, even though it was right there in lines 2, 4, and 6. Very nicely penned. Peace, Linda

  11. Mama Zen says:

    This is so sensual! Gorgeous work, De.

  12. Abhra says:

    You have introduced me to a great form…it must be very interesting to balance the challenge of rhythms and then using it to make your piece sound a lot nicer. I love this. Not sure if I can join though.

  13. Bodhirose says:

    There is something sexy about that breath. This form does seem to suit you, De. You make it seem so effortless and your words just flow into perfection. So nice.

  14. Sumana Roy says:

    soft, subtle and passionate….simply brilliant…

  15. De, how did I not know you were part of d’team? Suits you to a ‘D’. I hate rhyming on purpose, but may try this form. No guarantees I’ll like what comes out of it, but puzzles are fun.

  16. Breath of Nature.. Breath of Life
    Breast
    of us
    breathes the same..
    funny
    how a
    little more
    flesh here and
    theRe changes so much
    as air
    the
    sAMe..:)

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