“Last time, I imagined myself as the kid. This time, the skeleton.”
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
..
For now,
we’ve covered everything we can
with these veiny shrouds, this
masquerade of muscle, sinew,
blood. We’ve danced about in
moonlight,
……….hidden.
Unpeeled, are we nothing
but ivory stones, scattered
scaffolding, rattled
cages forsaking
……………freedom?
We have grown
tired of bruises, the
crimson bashing of
fall and fire and fist,
but hey, let’s be
honest here:
……..without it,
we are nothing
but dust.
..
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The rawness in this is poignant…rich and elemental writing. Love it de. 🙂
I love this!!!
That “unpeeling.” I remember accidentally using that word years ago. But here, it’s perfect.
That cleverly tucked in “moon” made me grin. We’ve got on our skin, but we’re still mooning people (and being butts). Also, there’s “we’ve danced about in moon, lights hidden.” It’s so disheartening, just a completely “sinking” feeling to have to hide your lights. That makes me think of the song, “This Little Light of Mine.”
The way you stacked the “forsaking freedom” draws out “sake” and “dumb.” I’d LOVE a good sake-dumb night with you. 🙂
But despite all the despair in this, the midsection clearly states that “we have grown.” That’s something, isn’t it?
“honest” = “ho nest” and also “Hon, EST (eastern standard time) …” This is a southern hairdresser launching into a story about those crazy easterners.
This is my fave:
“the
crimson bashing of
fall and fire and fist”
It sucks to feel like you hate something, but then to also feel like you need it. I guess that sums up just about any addiction on the planet. Not healthy, but still, you’re desperate for it.
I enjoy this “comment” nearly as much as the poem. Wonderful feedback, and I agree with it all.
My Shawna-Sienna-GhostGirl is the BEST when it comes to comments! 🙂
Thanks, Marie.