..
she leaves.
she’s left.
leaves fall, bereft
of
spring and silence.
he knows.
he’s known.
the days have
grown
spilled, and small.
she’s got a million
reasons to stay, and
ampersand this strand.
he’s got a thousand
things to say. she
breathes them all.
..
I’m hosting the Quadrille over at dVerse today. The direct link goes live at noon, PST. Come play!
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The leaves falling, bereft really underscore the sadness of leaving.
It’s like the worst way to end… a million things to say.. love the use of ampersand (great word BTW).
Pingback: Leaves. A Quadrille | petrujviljoen
This is just wonderful. Love the form, the flow, the echo effect. Skillfully crafted.
It took a second reading to get it. Oomph! Thanks for hosting.
I love this one, De. It could be the lyrics to a song. You’ve really pulled on the heartstrings here.
I was expecting something much more positive. This is a perfectly sad fall poem.
Fall, does seem sad in many ways and the seasons change along with people
Sigh… love how autumnal leaves are symbolic to love and relationships ❤ Beautifully poignant.
Lots of love,
Sanaa
Quite a lovely format and sound to it, and inventive to boot.
Leave notes..
dusty grow..
parched fall
of
heARt..:)
Great piece. Felt very “autumn” to me – the departure of the warm season to bring about the upcoming cooler season and dreaded winter.
I like how this feels like a conversation between two people. Intimate and yet distant at the same time.
You had me from the opening lines. Great lines throughout.
Love the title, De, and I marvel at the unique lines that does feel like a convo…but not especially sad to me like some others feel.
The rhyme, the alliteration, the sense of depth in an economy of simple words.
You’re a master.
It’s so well done! I particularly love the way the rhymes come down hard at first, with the finality of the leaving … then get softer, and the lines slower, as the poem gradually opens out towards the inconclusive ending.
Beautiful, De! ❤
bereft of spring
and silence.
There is a tinge of sadness with Fall’s silent approach. Agreed De
Hank
Big sigh. This is lovely, really captures that feeling of things ending before they are over for both people.
It’s sad, but I don’t think it’s final. “It is hard to cast the skin,” as Kaa would say.
I believe there’s an ampersand to their story.
I love the positioning from present to past: she leaves, she’s left….he knows, he’s known….seasons move like this. Putting it into an intimate conversation is such a special “song” for the seasons. And…I adore the use of the word “ampersand.” Have you seen this article about ampersands?
https://designshack.net/articles/typography/why-i-love-ampersands-you-should-too/ Has an interesting history about the ampersand.
Oh my gosh, Lill! I LOVE that, so much! Thank you! I adore the ampersand, and had no idea! 🙂
Thought you’d like it 😉
You use the words you used and leave the ones that were left. I get it now! Who’s on first? 😀
A real De-light!
This took my breath away. Loved everything about it. Just brilliantly crafted.
This is achingly beautiful. I feel sad for them.
Wonderfully executed and heart crunching…but the ampersand may be hopeful?!