swollen sky

did we stutter?
mutter clouded somethings
to an angry stone?

did I wish for this?
blow fluff and bliss
to breeze,

release some semblanced
song void of my

did you go, or stay?
these deluged days
make heavy phrasings,




A second offering for Kim’s Q44 prompt over at dVerse. Come play! 


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11 Responses to swollen sky

  1. The heave phrases and the stuttering is a perfect match.

  2. frankhubeny says:

    I like the last four words. Haunted leads to smallish.

  3. kim881 says:

    The structure of your quadrille echoes the stutter and mutter, the uncertainty. It has an edginess about it that weights the cloud, particularly in the lines:
    ‘these deluged days
    make heavy phrasings,’
    And then you kick us in the teeth with the final four words, De!

  4. Sanaa Rizvi says:

    Oooh such a power-packed punch at the end of this quad, De ❤️ Love it!

  5. Shrouded and heavy phrasing, I see a figure curled under a blanket not wishing to emerge. Powerful stuff.

  6. Shawna says:

    I love the way the title feeds into the opening line. That’s just one of your many poetic gifts.

    This could be about anything, but I particularly like reading it as if the “we” represents Mom and Dad, talking to a teenager perhaps.

  7. There is a sense of ‘be careful what you wish for’ throughout this and ‘these deluged days
    make heavy phrasings’ is so beautifully penned.

  8. Skillful use of the sound of words to create atmosphere in this one, De.

  9. did we stutter?
    mutter clouded somethings
    to an angry stone?

    Yes, why should one flog the dead horse? There are better things to do


  10. Oh, that is a great ending. Very well made.😍

  11. Well written quadrille.

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