I LOVE what you did with “She runs just one [faded/grey] mile.” So clever! Then how your indentation in the second line directs the reader to flip-flop “one” and “just” to get “She runs one just mile.” Also, the opening makes me think of only one eye crying (running/mascara).
“to get to the” … What a sweet line break. 🙂 Then “morning” on its own line also becomes “mourning.” “Smile” on its own line becomes “S mile” (that’s me!). And then that gorgeous last line. I love it when you use such pretty color words to describe the sky, whether it’s sunset, sunrise, or story; you’re so good at that.
I LOVE what you did with “She runs just one [faded/grey] mile.” So clever! Then how your indentation in the second line directs the reader to flip-flop “one” and “just” to get “She runs one just mile.” Also, the opening makes me think of only one eye crying (running/mascara).
“to get to the” … What a sweet line break. 🙂 Then “morning” on its own line also becomes “mourning.” “Smile” on its own line becomes “S mile” (that’s me!). And then that gorgeous last line. I love it when you use such pretty color words to describe the sky, whether it’s sunset, sunrise, or story; you’re so good at that.
beautiful, De