it’s the way the sky
darkens, harkens
back and cracks
open with a start,
a storm,
a sun-struck

the way the
tumble and squall;

the way rain
or a lone tree
and maybe nobody
hears it


Fresh back from three weeks in my Happy Place, Lake Tahoe, I am happy to be writing a Quadrille today for Victoria’s awesome prompt over at dVerse. Come play! 


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25 Responses to {factors}

  1. jillys2016 says:

    Hmmm – the way love falls and nobody hears it. One of the factors to consider and a marvelous line to ponder.

  2. Charley says:

    “the way rain
    or a lone tree

    I went over this part twice and then went, “Ah!” Lightning struck.

  3. annell4 says:

    A wonderful piece! I think it is perfect!!!

  4. I love the irregular rhyme scheme in this. It makes it flow so well.

  5. kim881 says:

    Nice to see you back, De! I’ve been following your travels and it looks like you had a wonderful time. There’s some lovely rhyming in your Quadrille, which I wouldn’t normally associate with fear – you’ve made it sparkle with darkens/harkens, stumble/tumble!And I love the ‘sun-struck smile’.

  6. Shawna says:

    Hella clever “Fear Factor” twist.

  7. This is wonderful…love the imagery

  8. Glenn Buttkus says:

    Like others, I think your last stanza is killer; clever, evocative, probing. Thunder storms used to tighten me, now I take shelter & watch its fury with awe.

  9. So stunning. I love the way you slipped in “fear” and wonder if, when you were up at the Lake, you experienced any of the t-storms we had last week.

  10. Yay! You are back. Your opening stanza drew me in immediately.

  11. Waltermarks says:

    Lots of things to fear here, some not quite so obvious. Liked the love struck angle too

  12. maria says:

    Love every lines.. ❤

  13. It doesn’t matter if it’s heard – it IS and that is all that matters. Lovely reminder about what is important in life!

  14. lillian says:

    Smiling I am. I also love that last stanza. Am also struck by these words:
    “a storm,
    a sun-struck
    I love a summer storm…I stand out on our deck and watch the rain pour down and hear the rumbles. It makes me think that nature is grumpy. But when it’s night and the sky “strikes open with a crack” and lightning zings across the sky…that is scarey to me. So perhaps that’s why I like the idea of the sun-struck smile 🙂
    The tree that tumbles alone in the forest….the other trees do hear 🙂

  15. I really liked the “sun-struck smile” a very original image! I also like the way that “love” doesn’t rhyme with anything, in a poem with a lot of rhyme. I think that makes it stand out even more than putting it on it’s own line. Very nice!

  16. Great to have you back De…missed your writing. This just rolls down the hill like a tucked up Hedgehog and lands with a big ol ta daa

  17. Frank Hubeny says:

    I liked the last stanza with the “falls” and “all” sounds tying it together.

  18. This just carried me along on creative phrases. Good write!

  19. Olga says:

    Interesting comparison of ‘fears’ to ‘years’. We do stumble and tumble through time, and those squalls can be unpredictable. Hopefully, no more squalls for me. 🙂

  20. jerennazuto says:

    What a beautiful poem! So delightful!

  21. merrildsmith says:

    Oh my–I love this! The rhythm and sound of it just rolls and trills–and maybe nobody hears it (maybe someone does).

  22. Pingback: The World Cries With Me: A Love For Rain | The Barefoot Aya

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