…
This fear
is the long slow heartbeat of that clock,
the tocking of hours and
the clicking of keys.
It seizes the day in fits and
starts and sputters, utters vapor
words to a chalkboard sky,
blows desert wind,
breathes fire;
a dragon moon in dilapidated skin.
..
For Bjorn’s Meet the Bar prompt over at dVerse. Come play!
Sizzling…….that closing line. OMG.
The clock and the dragon moon! Nice job
Oh De, this is one of your best yet, to my mind – love it! Beautiful imagery
“blows desert wind, / breathes fire; / a dragon moon in dilapidated skin” subtle metaphors of aging. Not a cliche in the bunch!
I identify with the dilapidated skin, and am prone to starting my days with starts and stutters. Great stuff!
‘This fear
is the long slow heartbeat of that clock’ is wonderful.
It feels like “this fear” is a long standing fear, one that never really goes away but rears its head throughout the days until the fear itself, the dragon, has aged and become dilapidated. Hope my interpretation is close to your intent. A compelling poem right through to the killer last line.
Reblogged this on NANMYKEL.COM and commented:
Love the entire poem, especially the dilapidated skin of the moon. I’m re-blogging.
This is great (as I expected).. many good metaphors thar are all unique. Love that you made it specific to “this fear”
Oh, I know that fear, that comes and goes, and then bites when you least expect it. Great metaphors. I like it when you read a new metaphor, and think “of course…”.
I had to look up what a throat stone is and then everything in the poem clicked into place. What an original way to describe the fear. I especially like:
‘… the long slow heartbeat of that clock’,
the ‘vapor words’ uttered ‘to a chalkboard sky’,
and the ‘dragon moon in dilapidated skin’.
Lot’s to like here – everything everyone else said – I also liked ‘tocking’ a bit like ‘taking’ and ‘knocking’ – Thanks.
I like “starts and sputters, utters vapor” making something out of nothing, how most of us tend to do with fear. Great poem.
The tick tock had me imagining huge underwater crocs…invisible fear.Stunning writing as always De.
Excellent. The language here is delicious.
There does seem to be fear in “fits and
starts and sputters” of clocks and keyboards. It sort of measures time, but not the experience of it.
Poor moon! k.
a dragon moon in dilapidated skin….I like this moon. XXX
Love that ‘dragon moon in dilapidated skin.’ Wow!
This fear……
throatstone is an accumulation — over time (medically anatomically, on the tonsils) — but here, to me, it is the accumulation of years…aging. I LOVE that you write about the clock “tocking” rather than the typical “ticking.” It’s that unexpected in your writing that is so engaging…and then that killer ending. Very well done!