Ash Sky, Falling



The dark creeps deep,
steeps my poemed breath in
star-skin and silence.

Once upon a time, you might
have waited here with me,
among these falling cherry blossom
kites. This one last night.

Now,
I rise,
leaving nothing behind but
muddled moon and fire
-flies.

 

..
It’s Quadrille Monday over at dVerse, and I’m hosting. Come play! 

 

 

 

 

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34 Responses to Ash Sky, Falling

  1. You had me at the opening!❤️ Such a gorgeous image this: “my poemed breath in star-skin and silence.” Beautifully penned.

  2. This is so unusually melancholic coming from you… love the sense of that last night (as if after cherry bloom there’s naught)…

  3. intriguing from title to ‘muddled moon and fire
    -flies’
    there is the hush of ‘poemed breath’ throughout which is an enchanting glimpse into some wistful thoughts – the reader feels part voyeur, part confidante

  4. Such sadness I feel in this: “Once upon a time, you might / have waited here with me,” And I love how you weaved “fire” into it with the fireflies at the end.

  5. Bravo. Perfect from start to finish

  6. kim881 says:

    I agree with Bjorn about the tinge of melancholy in your Quadrille, De. I love the lines:
    ‘steeps my poemed breath in
    star-skin and silence’;
    the ‘mm’ alliteration in ‘muddled moon’;
    and the gorgeous image of ‘falling cherry blossom kites’.

  7. jillys2016 says:

    Longing and loneliness wrapped in this one, De. Do love what do you with them wordies!

  8. Frank Hubeny says:

    I like the contrast of once upon a time and now and leaving behind the moon and fire-flies.

  9. Lovely verse. Great longing in that last line / break – muddled moon and fire/flies. Bravo.

  10. ‘muddled moon’ is such an original phrase. Echoes the sense of incomprehension and impotence.

  11. This has such a beautiful opening with a powerful close !

  12. I feel such a sadness in this. Once upon a time to muddled moon and fireflies. A tender read.

  13. Misky says:

    Some lovely internal rhyming in this beautiful poem.

  14. So much melancholy here. It’s beautiful.

  15. Charley says:

    Love the twist at the end… the perfectly broken line! All of it is as it should be… the last seals it.

  16. Maple says:

    This is gorgeous — especially the opening line and the second stanza.

  17. “muddled moon and fire
    -flies.”

    ADORE!

  18. kanzensakura says:

    As usual a wonderful/filled quadrille. But so sad. The second stanza…the cherry blossoms that only live for a day and the sadness of someone who waited with you and does no longer.

  19. rothpoetry says:

    Very good double use of Fire__Flies!
    Dwight

  20. ‘star-skin and silence’ – Love the sound of this. I like that we both were thinking of fireflies!

  21. qbit says:

    Oooh – muddled moon and fire.

  22. Mish says:

    Undeniable longing…but I sense that everything is “ok”.
    These are gems……”star-skin” and “muddled moon”
    Oh how I love your poetry, De. 🙂

  23. Oh, that is beautiful. I love it. It has the softness of moth wings.

  24. merrildsmith says:

    Lovely, lonely, melancholy. I love “muddled moon” and the pause between fire and flies.
    I can’t quite decide if this is lost love or the end of the world.

  25. Vivian Zems says:

    I could feel the sadness and loss in these words. Beautifully done.

  26. So much great wordsmithing! Awe- some.

  27. annell4 says:

    “Fireflyes” a favorite! Beautiful write.

  28. I love this De…so personal it seems…the ending took my breath away…just stunning.

  29. I keep reading and whispering these beautiful lines.
    There is something comforting for me here . . . lately I feel the dark steeping me in
    “star-skin and silence.” I had no words for it, and you have given this place a name.
    Thank you! 🙂

  30. This evokes thoughts of the end of the world, in slow, dreamy motion. I love the visual of the falling cherry blossom kites and the muddled moon.

  31. Janice says:

    ‘Muddled moon and fire’…losses become so poignant at seasonal turning points…beautiful poem

  32. De, this is so “delicious,” every word of it. I like what you did with fire-fly and these lines smacked me:
    steeps my poemed breath in
    star-skin and silence.

  33. rosemawrites says:

    poemed breath — oh this phrase took my breath away.

    and those last two lines, the hang between fire and flies. gorgeous!

  34. Great pathos, yet a quiet strength manifesting in that last line. Great write!

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