my blood approves
and kisses are a better fate
lady i swear by all flowers.
– E.E. Cummings
She’s fussing about out there
in the garden again, cussing
out the flowers. Loves me, loves
-me-nots, forget-me-dids. Shattered
petals and lost bliss, and that one
murmured kiss that muddle-muddied
her sky. A wink, a leap. A crunch. The
kicked-in burn of heart’s last twist.
It’s Quadrille Monday at dVerse and I’m hosting. Come play!
“forget-me-dids” … so much in that… she is right in cussing methinks
I’m seconding Bjorn’s quote. I sort of felt winded at the end, there was so much about this that I liked and every line was just so well crafted.
Your last line is killer. Interesting mix in this piece–whimsey, humor, sadness and metaphor; nicely done.
This made me think of all those women who lost their never-to-be husbands in WWI. That one memory disturbing her equilibrium.
That is so true, Sarah. I thought that, too. (Maybe because I just listened to story about a plane crash.)
Oh, I can just picture this. Concise, humorous and truth be told wrapped up in a small tasty treat. I especially like, “”Forget-me-dids” Thanks for sharing this.
Like others, I love the “forget-me-dids.” There is humor and pathos in this–but somehow I feel like she’ll carry on and be OK.
This makes me think of those women like my great aunt whose loves were all ones that got away. They linger in the memory in a chaste blur.
This reminds me of myself as I’m fussing about in the garden. I really love “Shattered petals and lost bliss”. Yes, that’s gardening for sure.
Sounds like a teenaged daughter. I do not look forward to dealing with the heartbreaks to come in my household (or garden).
Oh, man. Me, neither. We’ve already had one major one, a friendship dashed to bits. Praying these next years flow by a little more gently.
I keep telling my girls, “Do not have boyfriends. Do not have boyfriends. Do not have boyfriends. It will destroy everything, especially friendships.”
“Shattered petals and lost bliss,” speaks volumes! A most gorgeous poem, De! ❤️
feeling the acute pain of lost love…
Hi De! Liked this piece… “forget me dids” 🙂 You and I both touched on bliss for this piece. It’s a natural with kiss. Happy Valentines Day!
“forget-me-dids. Shattered…” I like the way “shattered” seems to do double duty here.
Great quadrille. I always enjoy your word play in your pieces.
Whoa, that’s jam-packed.
An older couple perhaps?
Ah! Cummings & Mother Goose – nice!
I can see her in the garden tearing off petals, cussing and fussing! The twist of the heart at the end just sums it up!
Pingback: Attic Curse – DoodleScribbles
A brilliant take on Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary, De, with a sprinkling of Cummings! I like the internal rhymes, the ‘loves-me-nots’ and ‘forget-me-dids’, and the ‘mm’ alliteration that evokes the kiss. But oh, that burning twist of the heart!
Oh, this pricks and bleeds like those “shattered petals” of heartbreak and melancholy. Such a wonderful word-play here with alliteration and sounds replicating the flow and the rhythm.
Love this bit: “and that one/murmured kiss that muddle-muddied//her sky.”
shattered petals / lost bliss / the metaphor of the garden here is so well done. I especially love these words:
“Loves me, loves
The forget-me-dids is just an amazing turn of words that fits with the old saying and relays the loss and hurt and “frustration”.
Love this one, De!
Quite visceral, this one. Love the force behind the words.
A really nice play off the cummings prompt — assuming that’s what you did. Anyway, they share the sandbox well.
Nice description of that “one
murmured kiss that muddle-muddied
I liked your poem, out in the garden, and kisses.
A poignant portrayal of love gone wrong!