..
I thought we were
at war
………..before.
The twister-tangled
words, the crimson anger
swirl, the broken
glass.
The hurt you hurled
as you were leaving.
The crash of anger
-lightning, shattered
zen.
And then:
this cloud
(-stirred,shaken)
………..sky,
spiked with rum
-bling thunder.
..
It’s Quadrille Monday again over at dVerse, and I’m hosting. Come play!
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“The twister-tangled / words” – perfect. And then the drunken sky at the end.
Love the title and sounds and crash of anger. That is a clever word break – rum-bling thunder. Amazing!!!
Oh what spiked shards we hurl when in the defense and anger mode!
Oh dear – we have all been there – those of us who dare to love so passionately.
Even the weather resonates a love go e awry. Great write
Much🌻love
The tension in this piece is incredible. Yummy! And I love the “Spiked with rum-bling thunder.” Really good stuff!
Stunning alliterative title, De, and a wonderful build-up of language, particularly the rhyming of ‘at war’ and ‘before’, the ‘twister-tangled words’, ‘lightning, shattered zen’ and the wordplay at the end!
It is amazing how very close the energy of love, and the energy of spiteful anger can be. The comparison to two sides of a coin is so true – and it is so easily flipped to the extreme. Bring in love is dangerous work. Not for the feint of heart!
love how the descriptions match the sounds- hurt hurled; crash/anger. A tempestuous outer/inner poem with a rum ending! Brilliant!
Such awe-inspiring wordplay in this one, De! ❤️ Those of us who dare to indulge in passion often witness the sky spiked with rumbling thunder.” 🙂
As always, you splash the words around and create amazing pictures and sounds. I love it, especially:
“zen.
And then:
this cloud
(-stirred,shaken)
sky,
spiked with rum
-bling thunder.”
Amazing!
Love it, I feel the anger. Very descriptive.
Pat
Nice sound: “shattered
zen.
And then:”
The whole piece drips with passion and sweat. OMG, save us from /shattered zen/. Like Rob says, those f us married for decades vibrate between those slender parameters of anger and love. Big boy pants and big girl panties, please.
Woa! That’s some storm!
I just adore “bling thunder.” 🙂
The weather, and the drinks metaphor (and hurricane needs rum too)… such an intense feeling in this one… and it could fit the Mardi Gras prompt too …
Brilliant ending with those line breaks. Nice.
I love the jangly sounds in this–like the tension building up to a storm–and the twister-tangled words, “cloud
(-stirred,shaken)
………..sky,
spiked with rum” 🙂
I loved the format you used, so tight and tense. Captivating passion!
Love your line breaks, especially,
“Spiked with rum
-bling thunder”