I Shall Not Math 



Not to be negative, 
but I’d rather take a bath 
in acid than account for 
decimals or denominations. 

I shall not dance 
to algorithms. 

No chance. 

I shall avoid all 
metrics, angles 
and degrees 
in equal measure. 

I shall not solve for X
unless 
it’s digging for treasure. 

You may consider it base,
but you’ll find no trace 
of trigonometry in my veins.

You may find it odd, 
but I have zero 
evens 
left to give. 

You could call it obtuse,
but I could care less 
(not more) 
about your hypotenuse. 

And maybe it’s mean
but I’ll still avoid the median 
like the plague – for real. 

There’s nothing variable about it.  
My common factors are: 
contempt, disinterest, and disdain.  

(Sorry to go off on a tangent, but
that’s just a fraction 
of how I feel.) 

Kindly remove your quotient 
from my quadrant. I’m living on 
my terms. 

At this point in my life, I’ve learned
it would be quite easier for me 
to learn Arabic 
than algebraic. 

No need for further ponderance or debate. 
There is no interest here to calculate. 

::
A fraction of fun for NaPoWriMo’s day 15.

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15 Responses to I Shall Not Math 

  1. I like math but I think this is hilarious. So many killer lines

  2. qbit says:

    “I shall not solve for X
    unless
    it’s digging for treasure” Lololol!!

  3. Carol says:

    Very amusing! A+

  4. vhosking says:

    I agree. My poem was about math as well.

  5. Vince Gotera says:

    Okay, not sure … do you or don’t you like math?

  6. Shawna says:

    I love, love, love math, which makes me love this piece all the more. Fabulous, you brilliant girl. ❤

  7. Vidya Tiru says:

    From ‘I Shall Not Math’ to ‘a fraction of fun……’, this poem is infinite-ly brilliant!!! I love math and I love words, and your poem ensures I love them both even more now…

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