forgiveness comes in
juts and starts
and so does fear.
his icy stare.
a ragged hole in the wall;
(not quite, yet)
the last straw.
just one more
to her heart.
It’s Quadrille Monday over at dVerse, and I’m hosting. Come play!
Oh.. this is devastating… so often that last straw is that one that makes it into a true end.
De, you and Bjorn were on close wavelengths today. Heart punches are the worst, especially when coming from a self-righteous fist.
Thanks, Lisa. Yes, or a cheating one. Thankful this is pastlife stuff, long healed.
You’re welcome and glad it is in the rear view.
Oh Thank Goodness! I thought “she” was going to get punched. Fun read, Dee.
It can be life shattering…and those tiny punches can break the dam!
Love how you wrote this, De.
The punch is raw in this, the rhythm and verse has a little mystery in the beginning, but by the end, there’s no missing the pain. Powerful!!
This is a recurring theme at the moment. The nice guy who acts so out of character. He just punched her the once and he’s sorry. So that makes it all right, doesn’t it? We’re supposed to feel sorry for him.
there are some raw emotions on display here. great poem.
The way that ending comes.
Gllad it’s pastlife stuff for you, De. Clear, powerful work. And thanks for hosting the cool prompt
Nicely done poem with a “punch”
Well done! The hole punches to the heart are the hardest to overcome!
Bravo. A case of punched to heartbreak. No one likes to be there, but it happens.
felt like that will end it. love the build up, De!
I take it this isn’t a recent thing, De? I love the jerkiness of the opening stanza – it sets the tone for the rest of your quadrille. I’m familiar with icy stares and the occasional ragged hole in the wall – and tiny holes and punches to the heart. Now I feel depressed, but in a good way, because your poem has had an effect on me. But I hope the next quadrille is a little more upbeat.
The uncertainty and the premonition and then the pain. Love the structure of this.
I can feel the pain. Wonderfully and authentically expressed.
The rhymes here are as sharp and jutting as that finally straw, delivering that pain just as surely to mine own heart, that also once forgave one time too many, as hers.
Relationships can be so complicated. There is a dance of stepping toward and away. I especially liked your first and last stanzas. Nicely done.
So sad! Amazing how just 44 words can cover the whole scenario. A great write!
That title is stunning, as are your brilliant line breaks and rhythm. You are always and ever the queen I bow down to in awe and adoration.
I know what this is about, but pretending I don’t, I see another possible story in which a young girl perhaps has learning disabilities and is suffering at the hands of a frustrated father or teacher who doesn’t know how best to work with her.
I could feel the lead up, and the ending. Perfect line breaks as usual, De.
Oh wow this is good. Sharp as an arrow into the heart. Made me cry
Then I read it again and was reminded you began with forgiveness. A ray of light